Cry me a river of tomato tart

These are the days when eggplants, cucumbers, and okra fill the fridge; literally overflowing, jumping out, begging to be made into something healthy, flavorful, and interesting. Babba ganoush? check.

Or, if you've had a particularly humiliating work out at the gym (Cardio Strength class, anyone?) you  come home and drown your sorrows in something delicious and only vaguely disguised as healthy: Herbed Ricotta and Heirloom Tomato Tart in a phyllo crust. 

Since you have to brush the individual sheets of phyllo with oil before cooking, you lose a lot of the "healthy" aspects to this dish. After a workout that nearly brought me to tears reminding me of how hard I'd worked in the past, and how all that work was now a distant memory, I wanted something comforting. The phyllo was store bought and I roasted the tomatoes while sauteing leeks for the herbed ricotta. I basically followed David Lebovitz's directions, but topped the ricotta with roasted tomatoes and just the slightest layer of shredded mozzarella.

Afterward, I guiltily added up the Weight Watchers points and realized it wasn't awfully bad for me. Even though I left halfway through the class (I couldn't hang, I was the weakest link!) a brilliant twitter friend (thank you Emily!!) reminded me to put it all in perspective: 

Action vs In Action

I'm full of questions these days with not much content for blog writing. In November I hurt my shoulder when I switched to 3 days of strength training a week. The shoulder pain lasted for well over a month, and in that month plus I became workout lazy.

Well 8 months later, I'm kicking myself in the pants and getting back to it. All of that work before? Down the drain and my weight is just shy of where I was before. In all honesty I thought blogging about this aspect of life would help me maintain personal accountability. I don't really think it did, but I have had great conversations about health with readers, conversations that wouldn't have happened had I said nothing.

So here's the deal: I'm back on Weight Watchers and I'm going to the local Y. Here's the question: Is this content you're interested in or something that makes your eyes glaze over? If it's interesting, how much information is interesting and how much is too much?

Want to read recipes and talk about food? Would you rather laugh at my pain (I went to Zumba yesterday, there's a lot of fodder for laughing there) or should I just stick to gardening and art?

Do you feel my pain or feel painfully bored when this topic comes up? Want to join in the fun and make the process a group effort? Want the whole issue to just go away? Spill the beans, people!

Against the grain

Let's continue the talk about coming home from vacation and having the energy to maintain cleaning mode, shall we?


I've started a 30 day grain detox...yep, internal cleaning. I'm on day 3 after a vacation packed with sugary, wheat-filled delights. I've been a bit crabby, not unlike the agitation that comes along with quitting smoking. Fun times, right? You should all wish Charlie well through this, it might suck up all the extra patience he's ever had!

Homegrown cow and black eyed peas as well as simmered

and mashed figs (our own) with applesauce.

The Matthews Fitness Together is doing a 30-day Paleo Challenge. I thought about going full force and taking part in the challenge, but after 10 years as a vegan I've decided deep down I don't have the personal fire it would take to stick with this particular way of eating. I mulled over the challenge and the part that stuck out most to me was eliminating cane sugar and grains (see numbers 9 and 10). Eliminating cane sugar eliminates a bunch of nasty processed non-foods, and eliminating grains (fingers crossed) will help me get creative and add more veggies to my day.

I'm also hoping it will jump start the all-too-stubborn weight loss effort that stalled out about a year (A YEAR!!) ago. Wish me luck. Anyone else out there off the grains? Any tips for a newbie?

Vacation, all I ever wanted

Pardon the disappearance,we made it to the beach and had a lovely vacation. In fact, we came back so well rested we spent the past couple days doing some intense cleaning including, but not limited to: the refrigerator and steam cleaning all the rugs in the house.

Cleaning is not a normal pre-vacation activity, but I knew I'd be much happier coming home to a clean house than a messy one. Then spending a week in a house without stacks of papers and clutter made it hard to come home to a clean yet cluttered space.

With clean spaces all around and a well rested body and spirit, I'm finally ready to really tackle a few personal goals: really digging into Beautiful You, a book introduced to me by Amber Karnes. I meant to do the book club but didn't get my book until too late and excuses and more excuses.

Now I feel ready. What about you? Do you feel as beautiful as you actually are?

You say good bye...

Today is my last post as the Petals and Pedals guest post series on Modish. Jena is flourishing with Miss Modish PR and Modish will soon emphasize that aspect of her multi-faceted life. It's so exciting to see friends find their path in such an organic fashion, you can see the success in their future!

I'm planning to take the extra time each week to further Wolfie & the Sneak and really dig into some work that reflects our experiences and beliefs. I also feel like I missed the boat on some of my own marketing initiatives, and hope to back pedal a bit to make the name Wolfie & the Sneak synonymous with our original designs. You know, settle on a logo...I can do it for other people, seems I should be able to do it for our own series of creations.

This might sound a bit cryptic, but as I learn and read more and more about owning your originality, I feel like "establishment" keeps popping up, and I need to focus on that a bit!

What? you didn't need to see that?

Plus it's time for some serious ME time, as in I'm serious about getting myself in tip top shape to be a good and present mommy. As in many practices, taking care of others requires you take care of yourself first, right?

Am I making sense or just babbling?  Anyway, go visit me at Modish and wish Miss Jena the best!

Seeing

I can barely open my eyes this morning after a long weekend at the lake, seeing family I haven't seen in a long time, and endlessly chasing Mabel. There was a lot of cake. And today I have my first fitness assessment at Fitness Together. Things are not looking good. I've been tracking my food for Weight Watchers as well as doing a serious workout twice a week, but have been on a plateau since August of last year. I have gained a few pounds (3, grrr) back, but feel pretty confident I have exchanged those few pounds for lean muscle weight.

Me in August of 2010, but I pretty much look the same now

I had an assessment the first time I tried FT, but at that time work was slow and we just couldn't afford the cost.  Luckily (?) I'll have the old assessment to compare to today's results.

So  this is where I am {again}:

I know I need to increase my activity levels, so all this has left me wondering, do the Charlotte Roller Girls need another Renee?

Anyone have any secrets to share about resisting the junk food when it presents itself in abundance? Favorite exercise activities? Lay 'em on me! I hope you had a happy, healthy, and safe Fourth of July!

Knowing is half the battle

Yesterday I hit my 10% weight loss goal--which, if you take the time to do the math, you can figure out how much I weighed and how much I weigh now. Please don't do that--and if you do, please don't judge me.

But 10%--that's pretty cool by me. Photo above is me 10 lbs ago. Photo below is me now.

On Tuesday I tried to do an updated me & Mabel portrait; you know, one of those hold out the camera and snap snap. We couldn't get in sync with our facial expressions, but I think they're hilarious. Especially fond of M's face in the top left.


There are a few rare qualities of Renee Portraits here, first is that there are pictures of me at all and second is the open mouth smile for the world to see, after a 32-year span of people making fun of my smile. Accepting and celebrating me is all part of the process, though, so it is what it is and knowing that makes me pretty damn happy.

Also, if I went in and actually got my bangs trimmed {see bottom right picture} I might be about 5 pounds lighter. Adding that to the to-do list.

pretty then gritty

It's going to take me until this afternoon to get my eyelids open today. While I'm working on that {with a hydraulic jack or fork lift--wait, not the forklift, that sounds painful} I'm going to focus my bleary eyes on reading all buttoned up and dream of a time when I can sit down with my sewing machine.


Or maybe search the internet high and low for a more local source to make a rope banister. {via shelterblog} We've already got a brass bell hanging in the stairwell, perhaps the rope idea isn't such a bad one. You know I like me some ropes.

Light house chic or total piece of poop deck?

* * *the weight loss gritty* * *

I don't say much about this whole weight loss thing, but I go on Wednesdays to weigh in, so yesterday was weigh in day. Lots of times {mainly when I think I've had a hard bout staying on track} I try to talk myself out of weighing in. I go anyway, because it would be a downward spiral for me to accept an excuse one week means I can let myself slide, slide, slide down the slippery slope. So I go and see and grimace until the news is delivered.

This is the progress chart from the Weight Watchers website. Not too pretty, except for the stars. I like stars.


Yesterday was one of those days, grimace and all. Remember the plateau and dampened spirits? Well, I fought through it, stuck with the program, got out and exercised a little, and am back on the side of pre-pregnancy weight. I'm down 20 pounds total, but have to lose another 31 to get to a healthy weight. {With WW you set a goal somewhere inside the healthy range of weight for your height and lifestyle. Once you reach that you no longer pay the membership fees but can still attend meetings and use the support system to stay on track.}

This is going to get into some hairy math: I had a goal weight of XXX pounds when I made the 20 pound pledge on the blog. I'd already lost 16 pounds when I made that pledge and, simultaneously, hit the wall. Since making that pledge {a month and half ago} I gained a little then slowly lost it and am back on track to losing the big 20. The big 20, as of yesterday is now a "big 16!" but with less than 8 weeks to go. I'm reassessing my goal, but if I stick to 2 pounds a week I'll still be pretty close to it.

Anyone out there on the journey with me? What's working for you?

The Slow Track Down

I'm sure many of you follow Making It Lovely. {Lovely is such an understatement for Nicole's blog.} I check in every once in a while, but not daily. . .I tend to get overwhelmed and berate my own ability to stay on target with projects when I see others do so well with them. Recently she posted about losing her baby weight plus 20 pounds by losing about 2 pounds a week, which is right on track for sensible weight loss.


Me, I'm losing 1/5 of a pound to a pound a week and it's getting depressing. In full disclosure, I'm right about the same size I was in high school, which was a pretty depressing, lonely time for me. Since then I've been yo-yo-ing 40 pounds. Yep. Four-Oh. And I'm now back to that starting point. When I read Nicole's post on losing weight I wanted to cry, one person's easy-peasy story is exactly what makes me want to curl up and eat a candy bar.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for her and I know it feels great to be a healthy weight, but my personal pity party awakens my high school skinny-girl envy. So here goes--I'm ready to get down to business. I'm stopping the excuses not to exercise. I'm not going to rationalize a high-calorie dinner because I'm so tired.

I'm going to be responsible with my choices and set a goal for myself 20 pounds in 14 weeks. Ideally I'd like to lose 28 pounds, but wonder if part of the difficulty losing weight this time is my age, so if it's just tougher this time around {and if slow and steady means I'll actually keep it off this time} I want to be realistic. I want to be successful.


I'm staying on Weight Watchers, but it's time to do it. . .really do it. It's time to regain my self esteem, time to remember my own strength and time to set a good example for my little girl.

Totally do-able, right? {If you have any suggestions they're more than wanted and welcome!}

Weigh Day Wednesday {a reflection}

Yesterday was weigh day for me and total I've lost 13 pounds. {hooray!} While it's a little weird to track this so openly on a blog for the world to read, I have yet to find the time to attend a Weight Watchers meeting, so this is actually keeping me motivated.
That and the fact they have an online system to track foods you've eaten, the activities and exercise, and the weight you lose.
Plus it's going a lot slower than in the past--I guess it's that aging metabolism syndrome. {Crap--I just linked to good housekeeping. I'm losing my edge.}

Speaking of losing my edge, have you seen Canvas, the new line out by Lands' End? It's sort of what the Gap and JCrew used to be, but in a much better price range. You do have to wade through pictures of gaunt women and wonder what the clothes would look like on real curves, but you have to do that on all the other websites, too.
Plus I like they don't pair up items to look "quirky" and "eclectic" and. . . forced. I think the stylists have spent a little too much time on Wardrobe Remix, wondering what "real people" are wearing.
Someone give that woman a cheeseburger! I think she's about to fall over! Hey stylists--weird slouch poses aren't the "casual" relaxed look you're going for, unless you are targeting an audience hooked on muscle relaxers.
Okay, getting a little catty here, but I'm going to have to buy some new clothes soon. Ones that fit, and it gets discouraging looking at all these websites. The skirt I was wearing yesterday has limited use in my future, thanks to Old Navy's extreme vanity sizing, before it just falls right off. I know, I know: buy handmade, but you know what? It's expensive. Worth it? Totally, but if I need 3 pairs of pants to cover my hide I could easily use an entire paycheck if I go handmade.

Just so you don't think I'm all ugly words and snarkiness today, here's an abundance of cute:

Happy Monday!

I've posted a few area plant sales over on the Indie NC blog. Check 'em out.


This was me on Friday, repainting the Farmers Market sign so it can last at least one more season {hopefully!} I freehanded it, so it wasn't perfect, but I was pretty proud. Anyone else out there ever dream of being a sign painter? Should I add that to my ever growing list of what to be when I grow up?

Even though I use a lot of lettering in my work, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but once I got started I really had some fun. Enough fun, in fact, to let Hi-C snap some pictures of chubby me...chubby me is now down 5 pounds, though! Hollah!

Happy Monday my peeps! What weekend trouble did you get into?

Callin' myself out

Since this little ol' blog is all about projects, I'd like to expand on a project I started working on a week ago and briefly alluded to several days ago. {See 6th * down}

See? Here I am 4 years ago, and here I am a month ago.
See the sizable difference? As in 6 sizes difference?!?

Well, I'm calling myself out, I'm signed up for Weight Watchers, I'm counting the calories. I'm aiming for the big 4-0. Yep, getting back to where I was. Since getting pregnant and post-baby down time, I've gained half of that, but I wasn't happy with myself before that, so imagine how unhappy I am now. That, my friends, is why I'm always behind the camera, never in front of it. To be honest, when I see myself in a full-length mirror or in a picture, I usually don't feel like that's me. There's always a "Wha?! Whoa! Ack!" moment and I'm ready to recognize myself when I do get those brief glimpses.

Anyway, yeah. Just callin' myself out. Wish me luck! Anyone else out there in the same boat? Needing a little inspiration or just have a pat on the back, atta girl to give?