We get a wide variety of weird things in our yard, most of which I hope were one-time-only flukes: used condoms, a briefcase full of work papers, a help flag from one of those roadside assistance kits.

Yesterday I went outside to find a stray cat (unfortunately it wasn't Brian Setzer, but a gray and white bully that attacks the Sneak and Huggie Bear) right outside the back door. I chased it off and realized it was there eating a cheeseburger. At first I blamed the cat for bringing the cheeseburger into the yard, but the more I think about it, the more I think it would be pretty impossible for a cat to bring 3/4 of a cheeseburger into the yard with the bun and everything still intact.

I've seen people throw weird meat products to the dogs, but the cheeseburger was nowhere near the dog part of the yard (thankfully neither was the condom but the help flag was. . .hmmm.)

The half-eaten bag of Doritos was accompanied by a Gatorade bottle in a beaten down patch of grass beside the veggie garden. No, the irony of a stranger enjoying our locally grown produce while eating a meal of 100% artificial crap is not lost on me.

We use our grass clippings and leaves to mulch our vegetable garden. Someone's dog's poop isn't really the most appealing addition to our food source. Maybe I need a gigantic "Pick up your poop" sign, too. Or "Take your poop with you" . . .or "I'll tell you where you can put your poop". . .

Anyone have any insight that might extinguish this fury ignited byfinding strange meat products in our yard?

Would it be absolutely tasteless to post a sign out there? I'm thinking if I do I'll find even weirder things.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I would totally post a sign! Gross.